Actors: Ajay Devgan, Sonakshi Sinha
You know the film is called Action Jackson, and it will essentially be a series of stylized stunt and sexy song sequences. And it totally is. Yet, no one, really, no one, can adequately warn you against what to expect here. Let me try still.
Firstly, every scene in this expensive flick, without an exception I think, stars the lead actor Ajay Devgan. This, I reckon, may be a filmy record on its own. Ajay, or let’s just call him AJ (or let’s not) is loved by women. He’s even loved by the villain with Gorbachev’s red tattoo on his baldhead. The first time the villain’s busty sister lays his eyes on Ajay’s irresistibly hot body wielding the ‘Kill Bill’ sword, she literally loses her mind. She feverishly hits the shower. She smokes thin cigarettes. When she finally meets him in a swimming pool, he snubs her. She tells him he doesn’t know who she is. He tells her she doesn’t know who he is. And they’re not in Delhi.
What we do know is while she’s hanging around half naked throughout in the film thereafter, all she can think of is AJ. She can kill for him. We see her shaving off her head because she probably can’t have him. We hear her constantly moan, “I need AJ, I ne…ed AJ…” I feel sad for this actor. I feel terrible for myself.
This, by the way, is absolutely the only piece of plot that I came across in the second half of this movie, and I had missed almost the entire first half, because I was too late. I had been stuck in a traffic jam for close to two hours, which can be a physical assault on your senses. What it still didn’t prepare me for was the battery and mental assault that was to follow in the theatre.
Here’s what’s infinitely worse. I woke up early in the morning to catch the film’s first half, which is also another movie altogether. Here’s the memorable part from that one. Another woman (Sonakshi Sinha) falls for the hero (Ajay Devgan)— this time not so much for his physique but literally his penis. Seeing his penis brings the heroine great luck—office promotion, discount coupon etc. Therefore she and her friends follow him around doing what they call “naughty darshan,” hoping to sight his private part in public. I am serious.
People had already threatened me with this story line. Why would I put myself through it still? I guess to let you know that movie reviewers just do a job. And sometimes, only sometimes, it feels worse than a job. Don’t feel sorry for me. Please, just give me AJ. “I need AJ, I need AJ, I ne…ed AJ.”